Boyfriend refuses to take off his hat under any circumstances, his partner of 1 year has never seen his hair or lack thereof: 'He told me if I pull it off, he'll leave and never come back.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 8, 2025 8:00 AM EST

He must be hiding something worse than a bald head.

Have you ever heard the story of the woman with a green ribbon around her neck? Her husband begged and begged her to let him take the green ribbon off, because he was so curious about what was underneath it, but she kept refusing…until she finally told him that if he really wanted to take the green ribbon off, he could. He took it off, and her head fell off her neck. It's a tale about how pushing boundaries that seem banal to the boundary pusher are put in place for a very good reason. 

Of course, that story is a little more fantastical than anything we'd experience in real life. In real life, it would actually be somewhat unusual for someone to wear a green ribbon around their neck at all times and never take it off, even to shower. Some people never take off their hats or wigs in public, but remove them at home, especially around their family and their romantic partner, who love them without their hats or wigs.  

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  • Man in a yellow shirt and a red hat with a beard smiling at the camera while texting on his phone
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The boyfriend in this story is about as close to the green ribbon lady in real life as you could ever find. He has never taken his hat off in front of his boyfriend, and his boyfriend is frustrated that he's giving him grooming advice while hiding under a hat.

  • Am I the bad guy for asking my the guy I'm dating how he can tell me how to cut my hair when I've never seen his?

    I (33M) have been dating this guy(32M) for about a year now, and I've never seen him without a hat or some kind of head covering.
    via u/ReflectionOne7294
  • I mean never - not at home, not in bed, not even in doing water sports.
    via u/ReflectionOne7294
  • Man in a blue tank top wearing a red swimming cap
    via Ashley de Lotz

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It's become his thing, and he's always weird or defensive anytime I bring it up. Before my last haircut, he asked me to cut my hair a certain way because "that's how he likes it." I jokingly said, "How do you even make haircut requests when I've never seen your hair?" He is always super awkward and says stuff like, "I'll show you when I'm ready" or "I'll show you on this day." But that's been months now, and it never happens.
    via u/ReflectionOne7294
  • I don't care if he's bald, has scars, or whatever - I just find it strange that after a year together, he still won't show me.
    via u/ReflectionOne7294
  • A person with a tattoo covering the top of his head
    via A. C. (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It feels like he's hiding part of himself. Now it's at the point where if I ever see his hair, it'll feel weird and tense because of how big of a thing it's become
    via u/ReflectionOne7294
  • Trixlx He could have a scarring form of alopecia or previous scars from some sort of accident/surgery. Or he could have cysts/growths he's self conscious about. But, after a year, he should feel comfortable and secure enough in the relationship to at least give a reason even if he's not ready to physically show you. So, for that reason I think this relationship is probably DOA since there's 0 trust after 1 year.
    via u/Trixlx
  • CatDogReboot Nta. Is your boyfriend Professor Quirrell from Hogwarts by chance?
    via u/CatDogReboot
  • mishymishymishy33 Point him to the r/bald subreddit because those guys turn into total smokeshows once they finally embrace the bald.
    via u/mishymishymishy33
  • Ok-Macaroon-1840 Even without regard for his own hair issues, requesting for someone to cut their hair a certain way is bizarre behaviour. Controlling asshole territory.
    via u/Ok-Macaroon-1840
  • sky7897 He may have snakes under there like Medusa.
    via u/sky7897
  • EmceeSuzy Is there any chance that he has crazy racist tattoos on his head or something?
    via u/EmceeSuzy
  • TinyPay985 He probably has none
    via u/TinyPay985
  • TaylorMade2566 so he puts a towel on his head after showering too? That sounds like more than just self conscious, he's definitely hiding something. Regarding the ask about your hair, he can ask but if he gets upset that you don't take his suggestion, he's controlling
    via u/TaylorMade2566
  • OP ReflectionOne7294 When he showers at my house, he always uses the guest bathroom so I can't see him shower
    via u/ReflectionOne7294
  • Doobie Doo0718 A YEAR? What in the eff. He's fucking you with a hat on?
    via u/DoobieDoo0718
  • OP ReflectionOne7294 He told me if I pull it off during sex he'll leave and never come back.
    via u/ReflectionOne7294

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hair Dating-Relationships boyfriend long term relationship bald hats reddit story relationships girlfriend reddit thread Reddit hiding hat relationship drama dating
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